Hello and welcome to new age nun.
As a new age nun, I believe that the function of a nun should be to
serve God with her body sexually by fulfilling the carnal lusts of men
of God to keep them holy and pure. This keeps the Church from falling
under scrutiny for inappropriations committed in moments of lust.
I go the extra mile by doing the 2 finger digout whenever I defecate to
clear my anal cavity of all fecal matter so that it can also double as a
vagina for the men of God who've acquired a taste for anal sex.
I also do weekly deep cavity coffee enemas.
My teeth are all fake and I remove them to please men of God with my
mouth.
I hope to open a homeless cat ministry on a ranch that will secretly
double as a sanctuary for priests and men of God to visit for communion
with me to allow me to further serve my Lord, God with my body.
These duties are not to be taken lightly and a new age nun should try to
be as sexy as possible and be prepared to fulfill the desires of men of
God with joyful hearts at being found worthy of the honor and desirable
enough to assuage the lusts of the flesh.
It is an honor to be chosen for this function. We honor this honor with
secrecy and childlike service as if serving our Lord in person. It's as
if God is communing with us by submitting to this ministry.
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